Ending TBEX on a note of overconsumption led to an epic tour by plane, van, and boat of the Philippines that shouldn’t be missed. Well, Evo’s pretty sure he should have missed it. But it does make for an entertaining show.

My drunken exploits from last week are the main cause of the title of this episode. I finished TBEX off in my classic style, which means the FAM trip to Palawan started on a low note. But a typical one, unfortunately. Well, for me. You probably found it funny. I’m happy to be a cautionary tale to you all. Mad props to Sheila’s sister wives Tammilee, Jeanette, and Steph for taking care of me. She was more than happy to let her counterparts shoulder some of the burden of my man-flu symptoms. I still blame the Irish.

Through my self-induced hazy eyes, one thing about Palawan stood out: It is incredibly clean. Not a lick of trash to be seen, anywhere. Like all places, Palawan has anti-littering laws. But here, they are not to be trifled with. Or perhaps to be more precise, it’s the enforcement of the law that matters. If you know anything about current international politics, you don’t want to break the law in the Philippines.

Things got better the first night when we stopped for a goodly amount of time at Palaweno Brewery, an incredible woman-owned craft brewery making fantastic local beers. A few sips of their very hop-forward American Amber and I was ready to go. And by “ready to go” I mean quickly fell asleep for the remainder of the journey that night, which left me well rested as we explored the underground river in Sabang Beach the next day, one of the new seven wonders of the natural world. You’ll probably see a hyperlapse video or twenty of the trip from Sheila’s perspective.

After that a super typhoon conspired against us, but we didn’t let it win. It did make for an interesting 45-minute boat ride in sea conditions so bad that the Philippine Coast Guard banned all boat travel. Luckily we didn’t get caught (see “don’t break the law in the Philippines”). Or swamped. Or shipwrecked. Instead, we made it to Lagen Island only slightly soaked. Hooray for waterproof phone cases and giant dry bags for luggage! If you want to experience an exclusive island, we highly recommend Lagen Island El Nido Resort. Tell them we said hi and maybe you’ll also get a private dinner party on the beach behind the resort. The best part was the food. Or maybe the entertainment. Or maybe the pitch-black boat ride to the beach. During a storm. Yay, traveling!

We found some great postcards from Palawan. Want one? We might have few extra laying around. And we’ll certainly send out a new batch for November. All you have to do is support us on Patreon. It’s cheap, really helps us keep traveling, and you’ll get a hand-written postcard from us. True story So get on the list and we’ll send you one!

Music for our show is graciously provided by the fantastic band Velella Velella. They make killer tunes, and you should buy all of their stuff. It’s fabulous!

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This One Time (The Podcast) features retellings and recreations of the best (or worst depending on perspective) travel stories encountered in a life lived abroad. Stay subscribed on iTunes or whatever else you use to listen to podcasts and you’ll never miss an episode.