... and by not a drop to drink, I mean as a synonym for alcohol. Because it's all but missing from the local ciders.

I've never been big on ciders. Ciders back in the states are pretty much the same to my palate. I prefer drinks with a notable differences across their spectrum. There's a marked difference between, for example, a double IPA and a milk stout. The same holds true for scotches. And while I'm sure some U.S. based cider fans can note the differences, I cannot. 

But I'm finding cider here in France is rich and varied! Some are quite tart, like their U.S. counterparts. Others are sweet and light. And the one I'm drinking now is on the syrupy side. 

One thing all the French ciders have had in common: extremely low alcohol. I've had three or four here, and none of them have been over 2%. For comparison's sake, you've have to chug two 750-ml bottles of this cider to get the same buzz value as a pint of any decent IPA. Or think about this: drinking a pint of Oskar Blue's Old Chub would leave you just as impaired as drinking an entire growler of this French cider.

But it is damned tasty. And according to the wisdom of the internets, there are more hearty cider out there. I guess I need to seek them out and report back. It's my duty, after all!